I miss music. You may be thinking to yourself, "Hello, Katie...you're a choir teacher." And you are right. I don't know how to explain it. I think I miss music being my primary emotional outlet. When I get home from work after being behind the piano for half the day, I don't feel like playing again while I process my feelings. I used to do that all the time as a teenager. I would bust out my Broadway books and play and sing my heart out. I even found myself doing it when I went home for Christmas.
Today, I had the chance to reconnect to music. I took the day off work and drove down to Provo to be with my family who is in town. During the trips down and back, I put my music on shuffle. Many songs popped up that brought back fond memories and filled my soul.
One of the songs was, "With You" from the Broadway musical,
Baby. When I was taking voice lessons with Anna Mooy, this was one of the songs she recommended for me to sing. The lyrics are beautiful. The melody is heavenly. The couple that sings the song are trying to have a baby. Even though I think it is a love song between the two of them, I always think of a mother singing this text to her long awaited child instead. I picture the way my siblings feel about their children and how I will feel someday about my own child. Nieces and nephews really give me a taste of what that could feel like.
Many of the songs in my collection are Broadway, so it's no surprise that one of the other songs that touched me today was, "What I Did For Love." Hearing this song again reminded me of my dear friends Kate, Brie, and Shelley. During the time we were all living in Hampton Court and going to BYU, this was my go-to audition song. They heard me practice it so much that Brie had it entirely memorized, down to my own unique improvisational moments (that weren't so improvisational because I did them every single time I sang it). She could sing the song from start to finish exactly as I sang it. I couldn't stop laughing at her spot on imitation. I laughed a lot during that time of my life, right before we split to go on missions and move to a new phase of life. What a treasured time.
I was literally dancing by myself in the car as I rocked out with Michael Jackson singing, "Man in the Mirror." It was intense. I remembered my high school choir students singing it last year, along with a solo dance by a member of our school's dance company. Also, my love for Michael Jackson came from teaching Middle School at Dixon in Provo. Learning to love MJ music was how I finally connected to my 7th and 8th graders. One of my biggest successes in terms of repertoire during my job at Dixon was "Heal the World." 7th grade boys aren't serious about much, but they took that song very seriously. Which reminds me now of the time KLJ went on a date freshman year to homecoming. We were in stitches when she told us afterwards about how her date put on "Heal the World" in the car and their group listened to it in reverence while she struggled to keep it together.
Broadway again. Surprised? The musical 110 in the Shade came to the Orem Hale Center Theater. I bawled through the whole play. Those two hours were some of the most poignant of my life. I realized that my hopes, desires, fears, and feelings were valid and real. They were being portrayed right there in front of me on the stage. I wrote about it
in a blog post. As I was driving today, I listened to two songs from the show: "Is it Really Me?" and "Love, Don't Turn Away."
One more song. Let's put it this way: If I decided to write a letter to the Wailin' Jenny's and ask them to please write a song to adequately communicate my thoughts and feelings at this phase in my life, they couldn't have done any better than a song they already wrote called, "Heaven When We're Home." When I was in the Millrace YSA ward over 6 years ago, we had an enrichment activity where we shared a favorite song and talked about why we loved it. I'm sure I probably chose something by Rascal Flatts, as they have been the group to best mirror my thoughts and feelings for the past several years. One girl brought this song and played it for us. I loved the style and downloaded it, along with a few other songs shared that night. I always enjoyed the song, but today it was the perfect fit. I found myself smiling and singing along at the top of my lungs as I listened to it over and over (and over) again. Lane and I are definitely going to have to add this to our repertoire. Listen to it
here.
And here is a quote that I really hope Plato actually said, because it's really quite moving. But, you never know when you google the phrase, "Quotes about music," what's real and what isn't.
“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything.”--Plato