In my experience, the greatest love I have ever known has been the love of my parents. I like to believe that someday I will feel a love that is different, yet equally powerful, from my spouse. But so far, nothing rivals the love they have shown me throughout my life.
Whenever I am sad, all I want is to lay my head in my mom's lap and have her stroke my hair. Whenever I am confused, my greatest desire is to go on a long walk with my dad and talk through all of my concerns and fears.
Over the past 14 days, I have collected data about what love is to me. Below is my very own definition of love based on what I've learned in the past two weeks. As I go down the list of everything I believe about love, point by point, I notice my parents meet every single criterion in the way they have shown love to me my entire life.
1) Love doesn't expect anything in return.
2) Love is persistent. It doesn't give up.
3) Love "looketh on the heart" and sees the beauty within.
4) Love is listening.
5) Love is speaking in the language one understands best.
6) Love is caring for another person's well-being.
7) Love is comfortable.
8) To love someone is to serve them.
9) Love is helping someone be the very best they can be.
10) To love someone is to trust them.
11) Love is in the details.
12) Love is working together.
13) Love is being in close proximity.
14) Love is laughing together.
15) Love is rooting for each other.
16) Love is celebrating together.
17) Love doesn't require answers.
18) Love is praying with and for each other.
19) Love knows no bounds.
I'm saving number 20 for the end of this post because it's extra special. Best for last.
How many times have my parents sacrificed for me without expecting a thing back? I think of all the piano lessons, the rides to and from school, the birthday parties, the family vacations, the clothes, the delicious family dinners, the list goes on and on. I didn't do anything to "deserve" those kindnesses except just EXIST. My parents did all of those things out of a selfless love that didn't expect any kind of reciprocation, even though I try to thank them as best I can. But I can never come close to giving back to them what they have given to me. It's like our relationship with Heavenly Father:
Mosiah 2:21-
21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.
I believe that parenthood is the closiest thing to Godliness that exists in our mortal sphere.
This post is particularly difficult to write because there is no way to adequately illustrate all the millions of ways my parents have shown love to me. I could give two hundred examples for each of the 19 points about love. I will share just one for each parent that particularly stand out in my memory. It feels like a meager offering, but I hope to spend the rest of my life continuing to let them know how their love has changed me.
When I was on my mission, my mother didn't miss a week writing to me. I know this seems like a simple thing, but I needed those letters and I ALWAYS knew I could count on them. That's one word that comes to mind when I think of my mother: 100% dependable. I should add that to my list. Love is something you can count on. I wouldn't have made it through my mission without her support. Her letters were always positive and loving. I could tell she diligently read and cared about every word I wrote back, even though missionary letters can sometimes get a little long and start sounding the same :-). But to my mom, they were precious.
My dad was my personal math tutor growing up. When I would come to him for help, if he didn't know the answer, he would sit for an hour and figure it out so he could explain it to me. I have always been slightly dramatic; consequently, these math sessions were often characterized by me bawling, insisting he was wrong, complaining, probably rolling around on the floor, getting mad that he was always right, etc. I bet these little tutoring sessions were torturous for my dad. But he NEVER let it show. My dad was the picture of patience and love. He never raised his voice. He guided me through every catastrophe, even though I certainly didn't deserve it with the way I was acting. Again, in these moments his love expected nothing in return.
Mom and Dad, your love is perfect. I want to love like you do some day. Just as I have never felt anything so strong as your love, I have never loved anyone as strongly as I love both of you. You motivate me to be the very best person I can be. You give me the strength to believe in myself and never give up on very fondest dreams because YOU believe in me.
And now, without further ado, here is the final thing I have learned about love. Special thanks to Brad and Celeste for their stroke of genius on this final point.
20) Love S.U.C.K.S.
S- Selfless
U- Understanding
C- Caring
K- Kind
S- Steady
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!